Oh wow, this poem *totally* describes me right now… I can barely fit into any of my pants! GRRR.<\/p>\n
‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house,
\nNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
\nThe cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste,
\nAt the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
\nWhen I got on the scales there arose such a number!
\nWhen I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
\nI’d remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared,
\nThe gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared.
\nThe wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese,
\nAnd the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”
\nAs I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt,
\nAnd prepared once again to do battle with dirt.
\nI said to myself, as I only can,
\n“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”
\nSo–away with the last of the sour cream dip,
\nGet rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
\nEvery last bit of food that I like must be banished,
\n‘Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
\nI won’t have a cookie–not even a lick,
\nI’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
\nI won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
\nI’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
\nI’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore,
\nBut isn’t that what January is for?
\nUnable to giggle, no longer a riot,
\nHappy New Year to all and to all a good diet!<\/p>\n
Found at Chef Messy<\/a>. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Oh wow, this poem *totally* describes me right now… I can barely fit into any of my pants! GRRR. ‘Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d … Continue reading