feeling drained

I can’t believe it’s February already. January flew by so quickly.

So I’ve been feeling out of sorts lately. I just… I’m not really all that happy. :/ I think it’s a combination of things, really.

Work.
I don’t know if my job suits me. I’m shy and quiet and I much prefer being in the background most of the time. That’s always been my personality. But my job forces me into a position where I make important decisions and frankly, it makes me uncomfortable. I’m horrible at making decisions! It doesn’t help that I constantly second guess myself. I can’t deal.

Friends.
I’ve never had a huge group of friends and that’s always suited me just fine. It’s the introvert in me. But recently, I don’t feel all that close to even the few friends that I have. I’m horrible at keeping in touch and as much as I enjoy my alone time, sometimes I just want to call up a friend without wondering if they’ll even care to hear from me.

Weight.
I cannot fit into, like, half of my work pants. Getting dressed in the mornings is painful. I want to blame it all on the holidays but I can’t. It’s me. I haven’t been taking care of myself. And I can’t seem to figure out what I need to do to get motivated.

There are other things but I’m starting to get sick of my whiny ramblings. I’m not usually this dramatic! Really! But it feels really good to get it all out.